I have always been the type to hold out with anticipation for the countdown to the new year. Starting of a new dawn, new hopes, dreams, new way of doing things. However, for the past few years, it has gotten played out or ugh! I will start my change later down in the month, or even the memes on social media says it all “January was warm up February here I come” and still all in August we haven’t gotten our shit together.

So 2019 I am here closing off 2018 with a lot of positives going on forwarding into a great and exciting 2019. So in order for me to keep this momentum, I have decided to do my resolution, Now, while they are on my mind, giving me the thug to push through and finish 2018 with a running High.

Here are ten things on my list which I am going to start from today, so once 2019 comes around I would be well seasoned into accomplishing my goals.

1. Weight loss… Blah Blah Blah … yes, I said it. Being more healthy is on my list. Feeling comfortable within my self, though my significant other doesn’t complain. I am doing it for me.
2. Faith ……Working on my relationship with my savior is key in doing everything. strengthening your faith helps give you guidance in your everyday life.
3. Loving from a distance.… 2018 has shown me people or individuals who were in my everyday life, were not meant to be there. It has brought me to the point where I  just had to let go for my sanity. Not that I don’t love them, however, once your not building your pulling out bricks from below me. We can all live without the negativity in 2019.
4. Positivity… Keeping positive thoughts and feelings allows you to attract the same. Also keeping your circle with like-minded positive individuals will carry you far. So My aim is to keep my space and mind in a positive atmosphere as much as possible.
5. Read more.. before I had children I used to read a lot. if you ask me today how much books I have read in the last five years, I can count on my hand. Engaging my mind more.
6. Use phone less….( This is a tough one) I am not sure how I am going to accomplish this being a new blogger and all. With a positive mindset, It can be done.
7. Take pictures… I was never a person to take pictures of myself often. 2019 be prepared to call me conceited, those who are on my Instagram.
8. Well, this one goes with number 7… Putting myself out there …. taking risks, being more sociable. I always shy away from events or get-together so I am going to make a more conscientious effort to attend.
9. Being present… Many time as a mom or wife things become routine so much that you’re not really present in that moment because your mind is on other tasks. I am guilty of this, I tend not to enjoy the moment for what it is, being total of the moment and emotions at that time and giving it is recognition especially with the children.
10. Remembering my goals and the bigger picture…… at times life happens (after all we’re living  Duhh!) and we slip up on our goals in between. so for me, my way of tackling all my changes is to remember the reason why I stated and the big picture where and how I see myself in the future.

So I want to challenge my grow through folks too. sit and write your goals, get started on them. Make it a daily routine to make a change and become a better you. Let’s get started

As I go along this journey I will be sharing how and giving a more detailed look into my tasks so we can all work along.

 

Well hear nah… should I hummmm. Anyhow this is my blog. In life we have some people whom we have to interact with,  who are pretty toxic , they behave as if their one mission in life is to see you fall and make you miserable in the process,   maybe at work, school, family members even mother-in-law or father-in-law, lets be honest now I see you shaking your head saying yes.. true. So I have built up some mechanisms which help me cope I have tried my best to make them clear .. let’s grow!

• Set limits and establish boundaries

Toxic people don’t do well with boundaries (trust me I know). They try their utmost best to control others as well as situations. Setting boundaries might be very tiring and at times and it will seem to get you nowhere. However, ( we all know the serenity pray ) you have the upper hand in setting boundaries to the things which you can control.

Sometimes you just have to let your presence not be felt. If someone is someone is smoking surely you won’t stand and hang out in their presence inhaling second-hand smoke ????? Or maybe your toxic toooo.

Just saying…

Keep it to hi, hello and bye, only have surface topic conversations…….Talk about why the sky is blue or keep the conversation positive on someone else. Toxic people love to talk to listen and take back all the information and twist it up to make themselves look better. So covos about the birds and trees, then run away fast as you can.

• Don’t share secrets

We in the Caribbean have a saying “Bring come, Carry go,” That is when someone sits with you and have conversations and then carries the information back to whomever and maybe even the person you all spoke about, and I tell you, my brotha ( in my best Nigerian movie accent) when it is carried back, it is always,  not in the most pleasant light.

So they sit and watch as the two parties hate and have a conflict with each other. All so, that, this toxic person can have control and feel good about themselves. Remind you all of anyone?

• Recognize insults

This one may be hard to notice. However, has anyone ever given you a compliment, that has you wondering, what they really meant? Toxic people tend to use words to make you jump out of pocket and have you acting the fool.

They hate to give you a compliment on any life achievement which they themselves has never achieved, afterward go and talk to someone else about all of your fantasy shortcomings they tell themselves that you have, just to compensate on them not feeling good about themselves.

You have to sometimes remind yourself that, their opinion does not even matter or cost” a pee in a pan”. Toxic people never have your best interest at heart so don’t even bat an eye at what they say. So don’t give their words power over your emotions and actions but, give some distance emotionally between you two, if physically cannot be done.

• Allow lairs to trip themselves up

Toxic people can never keep a straight story. I tell you some time or the other you start to hear the contradictions in stories and situations. They always expose their ugly assess to you or someone else. Give it time … “Old people say time longer than twine”. In my situation …Yes (rolls eyes) my situation, the lies always shows and I smile to myself and just have pity on the person. Don’t get it twisted It’s my blog and yes most times it about my experiences.

• Don’t fall prey to their pity

These people use it as a way of control and always blame others for their failures, or shortcomings in life never shinning the light on their issues. They are always inviting you to a  pity party and play the victim in situations where persons actually stand up to them.

One thing they also do is, talk bad about you to other persons to make you undesirable to the other party so they can remain relevant and in control.

• Don’t waste energy on toxic conflict

Trust me Don’t waste your time and energy on toxic people. Majority of the time you cannot even have an intelligent discussion … only their opinion matters. If the light is shined on the part they played, they will be forced to look at themselves and they will be darned if they allow that to happen.

They have a way of worming themselves into your life in order to create drama and chaos in order to manipulate others to suit their needs.

All in all, people you and me have a right to be happy. I am nowhere close to mastering these, as I will say It’s a work in progress. Self-worth comes from within, my self-worth is an issue to a lot of people who cannot control my daily happenings, they show themselves up in their actions towards me proving, themselves to be toxic. When you are toxic you tend to destroy relationships which could have been beautiful… it sad but true.

Are you a toxic person?

 

Hi,

My name is Candice, mother of two and married to a great partner, who was made just for me.  In life thus far, I have been privileged to go through and have interacted with some persons who have been through some life lessons. Some have been stuck, some have to push fourth, taking it one day at a time and some have made it into a lifelong journey of helping others through.

It is my belief that the lessons and situations we have been through in life was and is there to mold us into greatness. Some get it, some don’t and there are some that just need a hand reached out to them, for strength and guidance to know that it is not always a one-man journey.  In life, we grow through as I like to say because no man stays the same, who was once faced with a challenge or adversity. So it is my belief that once we are out or maneuvering through these life situations we should share so someone else can learn and gain strength to break through.

Life has a series of twists and turns discovering so much about ourselves as time goes by. So Please embark on this journey of self-discovery with me, be it through travel, me being a mommy, a wife or a friend and even the one that needs help ( I am human). Let’s grow together.

Thanks for joining me!

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me ” Philippians 4:13

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton